To be your best � know your worst.

A wrestler in a circus offered $5,000 to anyone who would go into the ring with him for 30 seconds and manage�not to scream.� If they screamed they lost $100.� One day a very flexible guy, a contortionist by profession,� decided to accept the challenge.� In 15 seconds�the contortionist screamed out in pain.� He came back to his friends embarrassed:� "He had me bent into knots, but I didn't feel a thing.� So I'm thinking, I'm gonna beat him at his own game.� I see his butt right in front of my face and�take a big bite... only it was my own."

....after all – life is a terminal sexually transmitted condition..... which is probably resolved by death... but then again... who knows....
�

A member of a congregation went to a Rabbi with a problem:
–"Rebe, my son converted to Christianity. What shall I do?"
–"Funny you should say so," replied the Rabbi "but my son also converted to Christianity."
–"What shall we do?"
–"Lets go to God."
They�turned to God and told Him their story.
–"Funny you should say so!"�replied God, "but my Son...."